


A Sliver of Hope

by gabihabibi



Category: Brightgulf, Mewgulf
Genre: Angst, Break Up Talk, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Break Up, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29199849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabihabibi/pseuds/gabihabibi
Summary: He does remember one thing said by a younger Bright while they’re eating cup noodles at the convenience store after Gulf experienced his first heartbreak.“There are many kinds of love, but never the same love twice. You’ll love again Gulf, and it’ll be different from this one. Don’t lose hope.”And as Gulf steals a glance at Bright, his hope blooms once again, because his friend is always right.He is sure he will love again.
Relationships: Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 25
Kudos: 90





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This short fic is written to satisfy the angsty feelings I got from MewGulf (although don't get me wrong I still love them with my whole heart, just needed this for my sanity) and my BrightGulf feels.

There was a force around the older man that made Gulf gravitate towards him. One accidental look and he was a goner. It was addicting to be in the presence of Mew, and even when they are far away from each other, this addiction lingers to the point of suffocating him. He should have known better than to give him the trust he rarely gives out to others, but at that moment, he was too blinded to believe that Mew will do everything to protect him. Well, Gulf wasn’t entirely wrong at that one, because Mew did everything to protect him against all the things, circumstances, and people that could hurt him.

Yet came the day he failed to protect him from the person who inflicted him so much pain— **Mew himself**.

Gulf Kanawut was a simple man who would do everything for the people he loves— his fans, his friends, his family, and Mew Suppasit. In two years, he never knew he could change and grow so much. Gulf was aware that it was because of Mew, and not once has he failed to show gratitude to the latter. He became the better version of himself with the help of the person he loves the most. So, he vowed to do anything for the older man, even hiding in the darkest corner of his world.

But the younger man forgot that in time, without the sunlight, the sunflower will wilt. 

He doesn’t know where it went wrong because he would never doubt Mew’s love for him. Gulf held on to the flowers, to Mew’s beauteous smile and laugh that was reserved only for him, to the way his eyes reflected happiness whenever he stares at Gulf, and the way Mew love him behind the scenes. The younger man was contented in what they had, and not once questioned why they have to be silent when he wanted so badly to proclaim to the world that the sun and the sunflower belong to one another. Gulf agreed to anything that Mew wants because he knows the older just wants to protect what they have.

Yet even good things get corrupted.

That is why here he is in his friend’s condo, a place he never thought he would feel the safest because Gulf once thought that he can never be at peace without Mew. But he lost him. He chose to let him go, too afraid that their love would soon turn to hate, as it is already happening and there’s nothing else he can do to stop it. Mew is a great person, but some of the people around them aren’t. The stress, the pressure, the hurt, the distance, and the silence became too much to handle. Mew shouted at him the other day, and he understood that when someone is mad, hurtful words can be said. But after that one time that he yelled at Gulf because of a petty argument, he vowed to never do that again. Mew never breaks his promises, but lately, it is what he keeps doing.

That is the very reason why they agreed to separate, they chose to save the friendship than a love that is slowly ruining everything they have.

_“So, I don’t want to disturb your need for silence, but I just want you to know that if you are ready to speak about it and you need someone to listen, I’m here”_ , these words from his friend broke his reverie.

These past two years, Gulf’s closest friends were the ones he met during the filming of their series, which was all acquainted with Mew. Even Mew’s best friend, Mild, became Gulf’s best friend. He is just now realising how entwined their lives are, and before he was perfectly fine with it. But now that he needed to run away from everything that reminds him of his ex-lover, Gulf reluctantly made a mental note to be more independent soon. He did still have contact with his university friends, but it was rare since he was busy with work, so Gulf knew he couldn’t bother them at all with his relationship issues. But since he doesn’t have anyone to run to, as well as not having the desire to cry to his parents, the only person he could think of was Bright.

**Vachirawit Chivaaree**. One of the most in-demand actors and models in Thailand, and according to his Phi Balls, the high school friend he played soccer with. Which isn’t entirely incorrect. However, their friendship was much more than what everyone perceived it was. No, they didn’t have any romantic feelings for one another as much as he was aware of. It just that, Bright was his special friend. The kind of friend he would talk to at the convenience store near their school after soccer practice ended. Besides playing the same sport and fighting playfully because they support different teams, Bright and Gulf understood one another in a way that other people couldn’t. Maybe because they have the same personality, although Bright would be the braver one of them. While eating any junk food they deemed fit for the night, they would talk about everything and anything. From soccer to the hottest issue at school, even going deeper with conversations of how Bright wanted to be famous someday and Gulf thinking he might pursue a sports-related course. They never grew apart because they vowed not to, and even if they were both finally shining stars in the skies, they tried their best to still find time to talk to each other.

Gulf broke that promise once when Mew became jealous of Bright.

_“Hey, Bright. Did I ever apologize to you when I stopped talking to you for a month?”_ , the said guy stared at him weirdly but still answered him with a ‘no’.

Gulf heaved a sigh. He never regretted agreeing to Mew’s outrageous demand. Gulf tried to understand Mew’s jealousy, trust issues, and insecurities. Even laughing for a minute because the latter posted a song cover with the same song that Bright has just sung. They did get into an argument again when he played soccer with Bright and his friends, so he never joined them again no matter how much he wants to. Others would say he should get mad because Mew’s jealousy was out of line since he and Bright are merely friends and nothing more. But considering the heartache that Mew has endured in the past, Gulf couldn’t help but to please his lover, even if it meant stopping his communication with Bright for a month. And for the record, after those two arguments, Mew allowed him to talk to his friend again and even apologized for his actions.

Suddenly, he can’t help but think of how Mew will react once he learned that Gulf chose to find refuge in Bright.

_“Will he even care that I’m here, finding comfort in your embrace?”_ , Gulf thought out loud.

_“You really love him, huh?”_ , Bright pulled him closer to him, and Gulf knew it is his way of saying it’s alright. It’s alright that he still loves Mew, and it’s alright that he’s hurting.

_“Will I ever stop loving him?”_ , even though he was afraid of the answer, Gulf knows he needed to hear it.

_“No. You can’t unlove someone because you gave away a piece of yourself to them, and they gave a piece of themselves to you”_ , Bright pulls away from the hug, facing a now teary-eyed Gulf, _“They will wound you, and then the wound will turn into a scar. But remember that scars do heal, and it is up to you if it will be a bad or a good reminder of a love that has been. It’s up to us whether to turn it into a lesson, or a regret that will forever haunt us. So, Gulf, even if you can’t unlove Mew, you can choose what you to do with that love.”_ Leave it to Bright to always know what to say to comfort him.

_“I guess I would rather have it as a lesson…”_ , Bright then smiled at him, and it may not give him the same fluttering feeling he gets whenever Mew smiles at him, but it does brighten his darkened world, _“Would I ever love someone else?”_

_“You will. You’ll love that person more than you love Mew. Just focus on healing first, hm?”_ , Gulf, after two days of nonstop crying has finally shown off his enthralling smile, _“Besides, you already have a line of suitors even before you two broke up, so it will be easy for you to find someone else”,_ laughter can finally be heard in the once gloomy condominium.

_“Are you one of the suitors, huh? I heard there are BrightGulf shippers already. Our photo garnered so many likes!”_ , Gulf teasingly told his friend.

_“You know I wouldn’t mind having you as a partner. Technically, I’ve been your boyfriend far longer than Mew had been. Remember those midnight dates?”_ , Bright decided to join in the teasing, happy that Gulf finally stopped crying.

_“Oh, Bright, you thought of them as midnight dates? I should tweet how much Vachirawit Chivaaree loves me and break so many hearts!”_ , he jokingly picked up his phone, earning a peal of soothing laughter from Bright.

_“Kanawut Traipipattanapong, heal your broken heart first, then come back to me”_ , Gulf who was now checking his Twitter account suddenly looked at his friend in shock because he swore he heard Bright saying it seriously, _“Who knows right? There’s nothing certain in the world, especially feelings. But one thing for sure, I love having you as my friend”,_ Bright gave him a dazzling smile.

Gulf knew he wasn’t in love with his best friend, and Mew still has his heart, but who knows?

_“I might fall in love with you”,_ Gulf said, cheeks reddening, _“But you’re right, my heart needs to heal first. And for the record, I love having you as my friend as well.”_

The first time their eyes meet, Gulf was captivated by Mew. He knew he found his soulmate. But even those who are fated, aren’t always meant to be together, forever. One thing he is sure of, he will never break his vow of always supporting Mew, even if it is just on the sidelines. Gulf just hopes that one day his wound will heal and turn into a scar, one that will remind him of how much he was lucky enough to be loved by his soulmate and to be able to love him even for a short amount of time.

He does remember one thing said by a younger Bright while they’re eating cup noodles at the convenience store after Gulf experienced his first heartbreak.

_“There are many kinds of love, but never the same love twice. You’ll love again Gulf, and it’ll be different from this one. Don’t lose hope.”_

And as Gulf steals a glance at Bright, his hope blooms once again, because his friend is always right.

**He is sure he will love again.**


	2. Beacon of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back with the sequel the day after I posted the first chapter because I couldn't focus on anything without finishing the sequel, so here it is. I hope you will enjoy reading it because I poured my heart and soul into this 😊💛
> 
> By the way don't be confused. Most of this will be in Gulf's POV but I gave Mew and Bright one POV each.

Gulf doesn’t want to be here, in an underground parking lot of an award show, prolonging the time that he would meet his former lover. He couldn’t help but remember all those past interviews where he proudly answered that his favorite part of Mew was his eyes and all those cozy nights he spent drowning in his loving gaze. But now Gulf couldn’t look at those caramel-like brown orbs in fear that they will not hold the warmth that was once reserved only for him. These past few weeks he had successfully avoided the older man by canceling couple events, and whenever he feels like he is close to breaking down, he’ll go play soccer with his friends or hang out with Bright. Gulf doesn’t want his effort of moving on going to waste just because he’ll be intoxicated by Mew again. Maybe curing alcohol addiction is easier than curing the longing for someone you can never have again. However, before he could spiral down into the thoughts of a man he once thought he’ll grow old with, a familiar ringtone saved him.

_“Are you hiding?”_ , asked the man he always sought solace in during these past few days, _“I’ll be there in a minute, wait for me”._

Despite having the job that requires him to be under the limelight, Gulf doesn’t like crowded places and being the center of attention. That is why he was thankful for Mew and his natural talent of captivating everyone with his well-thought words, charming smile, and impeccable acting skills. The older man coaxed him out of his shell, and in times that the younger just wanted to hide from everyone, the former would be the one to face the world for them. Gulf never had the fear of being alone, but when he had the chance to call Mew his, the fear began to haunt him day and night. How can he stand on his own when he lost his pillar of strength?

_“Found you”,_ the soothing voice broke his reverie and has managed to calm his nerves, _“I’m glad you chose to wear what I picked for you.”_

Even if he was a model, Gulf wasn’t that interested in fashion and its trends. For him, there are far more important things than branded clothes and expensive accessories. But then came Mew. The guy who owns sleeping wear that costs more than Gulf’s university fees. He was intimidated at first, but after sharing a closet, Gulf would go out of the house not knowing he was wearing a Gucci shirt on the way to the mall. He did fell in love with it— the sharing of clothes and the matching outfits. Sometimes Mew will be running late, and he will just wear whatever he can grab in their closet, not knowing it was Gulf’s and it doesn’t cost that much. Gulf also enjoyed reading the speculations of fans about their shared wardrobe, because it is one of the ways he can claim Mew without being so loud about it. But now, in one of the events that they usually wore a matching outfit, he opted to dressed differently than Mew.

_“I needed help so of course, I will ask the guy who was the model for Luis Vuitton”_ , Gulf earned a laugh at his statement as well a hand who messed up his hairstylist’s hard work.

_“I brought you something to match your outfit”_ , Bright handed him a black leather box, _“Come on, open it. I had a hard time thinking about what to give you. I could have brought a ring, but I’ll save it up for our engagement.”_

Gulf squinted his eyes at Bright, but then curiously opens the box. _“Who told you I’ll marry you, huh?”,_ he glanced at the expensive-looking watch, accidentally kicking Bright’s leg in shock, _“I am not your sugar baby, Bright! How much is this? What brand is this? Why would you waste money on this?”_

_“That’s an Octo Roma Watch, and that is not that expensive since I know you don’t like to wear luxurious accessories, but I still wanted to be able to spoil you”,_ Bright took out the watch in the box, _“Please wear it for me as a token of our friendship? Or we can go with what you said and just agree it is a gift for my sugar baby”,_ Gulf grunted, but offered his left arm to Bright, knowing that the latter wouldn’t stop pestering him to wear the damned watch.

_“I am giving this back to you after the award show”_ , Bright had the audacity to pout, earning another grunt from Gulf, _“Fine, I won’t. I’ll just think of this as a birthday gift for all those years you didn’t give me one, as well as my upcoming birthdays.”_

_“Hm… I think I should ask us our managers if I could be the one to walk beside you on the red carpet”_ , Bright cheekily said, earning a kick on his leg again, but now Gulf intentionally did it.

_“I don’t want to steal you from your on-screen partner, and I don’t want to look at Twitter later and see all the hate on me”_ , Gulf stared at the watch, now wondering what he could give to Bright in return. As a token of friendship. Or perhaps an appreciation gift to his sugar daddy. Now, Bright’s words are definitely messing with his head.

_“My fans love you, okay? Also, I will protect you from all the hate”_ , Gulf’s eyes watered at what Bright said, not because he didn’t believe him, but his former lover told him the same thing before, _“But okay, we will just do it next time when we’re announcing our secret relationship.”_

Leave it to Bright to say the right words to comfort him, and to make him laugh blissfully as if he’s not going through a difficult phase of his life.

-

Instead of a peaceful lunch with his friends, Gulf felt like he is in an interrogation room being questioned for a crime he didn’t commit. Unconsciously, he started to fiddle with his watch, which he swore to wear every day after finding out how expensive it was because he wants to show he was grateful for it by parading it wherever he goes. Deep into his thoughts and drowning in anxiousness, Gulf failed to notice the curious stare that Mild is throwing at his watch, and the worry etched on First’s face. After an ample amount of silence, Mild decided to be the one to break it with his interrogation.

_“So, who gave you that watch, Gulf?”_ , the mentioned man glanced up at Mild, wide-eyed, and surely hiding something with the sweat starting to form in his forehead, _“It’s not from the fans because that watch is trending on Twitter the other day, with your fans wondering who gifted that to you. It’s not you, because you are thrifty, and that watch is expensive. And lastly, that is not from the man whose name shouldn’t be said out loud since you two, you know, aren’t on great terms… So, be honest with me, who gave that to you, huh?”_

Cursed Mild, his curiosity, and Gulf’s honesty.

_“From my sugar daddy?”,_ Gulf joked, but technically that is what Bright told him, so he isn’t joking nor lying right? 

_"_ _I’m kidding, okay?”,_ he hastily said when Mild stood up in an attempt to smack his head.

_“Kanawut Traipipattanapong, answer me now young man, or else I will smack your head so hard you will end up having amnesia!”_ , Gulf thought it will be great having amnesia, yet that is impossible with just one smack on the head. So, he shifted his gaze to First silently asking for his help. But after seeing the curiosity dancing around his friend’s eyes, he decided to just spill the truth.

_“Bright gave it to me”,_ a few seconds of silence occurred after his confession, until Mild yelled, _“BRIGHT?! Bright Vachirawit?! That lead actor from 2gether the series?! THAT BRIGHT GAVE YOU A WATCH?!”_ , forcing Gulf to hit Mild’s arm thrice to stop him from yelling and spilling the truth to the other people in the restaurant. He doesn’t want an unnecessary scandal to happen.

_“Yah! Be quiet, okay? And yes, he gave it to me, do you have any problem with that?”_ , Gulf picked up his drink, nervously sipping from it. He loves having Mild as his best friend. He could be annoying most of the time, but he is trustworthy and a great confidante. In short, Gulf values whatever Mild’s opinions and thoughts are.

_“Are you two together now, huh?”_ , Gulf was about to say no, but Mild cut him off before he could deny it, _“Well, of course, you aren’t. Whenever you steal a glance at Mew that night, I could still see how much you love him. But I still want to know what is with you and Bright.”_

That is why their reunion lunch was turned into a day of Gulf retelling what happened with him and Bright during the past three days that he stayed with the latter. Yes, he stayed with Bright. And he loves to think it is not because he enjoyed his friend’s company, but because of the free food and his fluffy cats who snuggled up to him after he bribed them with amazing cuddles. He also explained to Mild why he chose to confide in Bright instead of them, which thankfully, he understood. Although he was confused why Mild and First kept looking at each other with knowing smiles during his storytelling session.

_“So, you are friends with a guy who told you to come back to him once you’ve moved on from P’Mew?”_ , First’s question caught him off guard. He did detect a serious tone when Bright said that, and these past few days his friend keeps on joking about having a relationship with him. But Gulf doesn’t want to take it seriously because he’s still madly in love with Mew and maybe it was all on his head when he thought that Bright was being serious that night.

_“He is just joking…”_ , Mild and First’s facial expressions show a hundred percent doubt in what he just said.

_“Are you afraid of him not being serious because you want it to be true?”_ , damn Mild and his power of making Gulf realise the things he doesn’t want to realise, _“When you told him you might fall in love with him, you know it can happen, because you don’t say things you do not mean Gulf.”_

Why are they attacking him with questions and the right words that will push him to face the reality that he desperately wants to run away from?

**Vachirawit Chivaaree.** How did he become so much more than a friend he once talked to every midnight after their practice soccer ended? Gulf wasn’t the kind of person who falls in love at first sight. Mew was the only exception. And he saw Bright before Mew, so he should have fallen in love with Bright first right? Honestly, Gulf doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that whenever he is with Bright, all the pain vanishes, and his darkened world brightens. He may not be the sun the sunflower is longing for, but he is enough to make the sunflower held its head up high.

Bright is so much more, and Gulf should be terrified of wanting to know why, but that friend of his gives him the strength to venture to the unknown. The unknown that he was once so afraid of.

And maybe this will lead to another heartache, but he remembers one thing a younger Bright said after he accidentally injured Gulf because they were being competitive again during a game.

_“All the pain will be worth it. Look, you won.”_

-

Ame was perched on Gulf’s lap, and he was recording a video of the special moment so he can show it to Ju. His cat prefers to snuggle up to his sister, Grace, and he wants Ju to know how perfect his lap is for snuggling. Bright snickered at him when he told him that, but the guy just let him be with his silly antics.

Gulf was staying at his condo because they have a spontaneous movie night after they found out both of their schedules were free that day. They decided to watch a Thai horror film, intending to scare one another, but of course, it didn’t work because both love horror films. Also, they weren’t entirely focused on the movie, with Gulf playing with Ame and Bright watching the lovely scene beside him.

_“I hope one day I won’t come home to find out Ame is missing and was kidnapped by you”_ , Bright’s teasing earned him a pillow on his face, _“Hey! Not the face! My handsome face is the reason why I have a lot of endorsements and modeling gigs!”_

Gulf sneered at his statement, grabbing another pillow to throw to the ‘handsome’ face of Bright.

The movie was long forgotten after that second pillow hit Bright’s head. They spent the rest of the night throwing pillows at one another much to the chagrin of Ame, who Bright accidentally smacked with a pillow. After that, they made a mess out of the kitchen, forcing them to order delivery instead since Gulf and Bright doesn’t want to die because of the inedible food they made. It was the most fun that they had after a tiring week, and unknown to the both of them, they have craved more for days like this.

-

Of course, he couldn’t ignore his responsibilities as the other half of “MewGulf’ far much longer than he wanted to, so here he was with Mew and Mild for the Urban Decay concert. Gulf was overjoyed when he learned Mild was the host, because it means his friend wouldn’t ask them questions that will elicit awkwardness between him and Mew, and for sure he wouldn’t be forced to do too much skinship. Although Mew and he agreed to be friends, they haven’t seen each other or speak to one another after the fallout, so he still doesn’t know how to act around the older man. Also, even though the presence of Mew wasn’t intoxicating anymore, and the pain was now bearable, he still opted to distance himself from his past lover.

Mew and Gulf has remained amicable while waiting for the concert to start, with the two of them giving each other a small smile when their eyes meet. The peaceful atmosphere was disturbed when someone holding a bouquet decorated with lilac in its light purple shade, white gardenia, and heather called for Gulf’s name. Everyone in the room curiously glanced at the bouquet he is now holding. Gulf already has an idea of who was brave enough to send him flowers during a couple event, but he still read the gold card attached to it. _**‘I only want to show how much I appreciate your courage to do this. So, let them talk, while you stay happy and unbothered. Shine bright today, Kanawut Traipipattanapong'**_. Gulf showed everyone his dazzling smile, hugging the bouquet closer because leave it to Bright to say the right words to calm his nerves.

_“Who sent the flowers to you?”,_ asked his former love with his gravelly voice that has been Gulf’s weakness in the past.

Mild saw the interaction, but before he could save Gulf from Mew’s brewing jealousy, the younger man’s smile grew brighter as he gazes at the wonderfully arranged bouquet.

_“Someone special”_ , Mild would have clapped at Gulf’s bravery but he still feels awkward and slightly scared at the growing tension between the two. Thankfully, the staff told them to go to their arranged places on the stage because the concert will start soon.

-

Mew was about to leave the studio when he noticed that Gulf was still talking to Mild, and his mother and his team was nowhere in sight. Only a few crew members were scattered in the studio and they all seemed busy, so he decided to join Gulf and Mild’s conversation. Also, he was still curious about who sent the bouquet. Mew is is heavily aware that Gulf is attractive— truly the ideal lover everyone dreams of having. Wait. No. Scratch that. Gulf is the ideal lover not only because he was attractive, but because of his good personality. The younger man always tested his jealousy and possessiveness, not because Gulf wasn’t loyal, but because he seemed to bewitch everyone. Mew felt the luckiest man in the whole world when Gulf was still his, and he does admit that he regrets losing him.

But choosing the friendship over a failing romantic relationship is a mutual agreement he needs to respect.

_“Excuse me.”_ , Gulf and Mild stopped their conversation at once when they heard Mew, _“Can I talk to Gulf? Alone, please.”_

Mew never thought he would ever need permission from others to talk to Gulf. It was always the others who would ask for his permission to speak to his Yai Nong because they know Mew can be a possessive man. And before, Gulf was only comfortable talking to Mew, often forgetting to include others in their conversation. But now, here they are, with suffocating silence and so many words unsaid. Gulf assure

Gulf assured Mild that he’s willing to speak with Mew, so they decided to talk privately in one of the dressing rooms.

_“The flowers were from Bright”_ , Gulf’s honesty will always be a blessing and a curse to Mew.

The fallout was inevitable. It started with the onslaught of solo events, then those times he promised to be there, but he chose to work instead because he knew Gulf understood the importance of achieving his dreams and goals. Gulf always understands, and Mew always took things for granted. They vowed not to blame one another because both knew they tried their best to make it work. But loving each another wasn’t enough to salvage what they had. They both forgot that aside from love, there are still so many things needed to make a relationship work. And when they realized it, it was already too late for them.

On the days where he isn’t immersed with work, he was haunted by everything that happened when they decided to end things, especially Gulf’s honest yet wounding words.

**_‘I love you, that is why I want to end this P’Mew. Because I am terrified that one day I will just wake up and that love will turn to hatred. And then soon I will just be numbed from too much pain. P’Mew, I am terrified of the day that I wouldn’t feel anything for you. So, please, can we end this now that I am still deeply and madly in love with you?’_ **

Gulf anxiously caressing his hand pulled him out of his reverie. He could still see the love in his eyes, but it isn’t as intense as it was before. Mew doesn’t want this to be the day that he would truly need to let go of Gulf. He doesn’t want to return the heart of the person who made him realise he shouldn’t be angry with love anymore. Gulf was his second chance at love, and he thought he was his last.

_“Do you love him?"_ , Mew was afraid of the answer, but he knows he needs to hear it.

_“I am still in love with you, P’Mew”_ , the words that gave him hope, _“However, even though I couldn’t unlove you, I found someone I will love more than I had ever loved you”,_ and the words that crushed his hope.

This is it, **the closure.**

_“Can I have one last hug?”,_ Gulf smiled at him before pulling him into an embrace that he will forever treasure.

Mew will still hold on to his belief that Gulf is his soulmate, but he knows that sooner than later, he will need to accept that he isn’t Gulf’s last love.

-

_“You’re here”,_ Gulf exclaimed, causing Bright to chuckle at his friend who now looks like an eager puppy with his beaming smile and sparkling eyes.

Bright receive a missed call from his friend while he was wrapping up his event. He immediately called him back, worried that something bad happened. Gulf didn’t send him any text earlier. He would like to believe it was because he was busy with the concert, and not because of a certain someone. Bright isn’t jealous nor threatened, because he understood he is merely a friend and that someone held a higher spot in Gulf’s life. But he did expect a thank you message or for Gulf to scold him because of the bouquet he sent. Bright isn’t the kind of friend who is affectionate enough to carefully think of the right flowers to buy, but when he was at the flower shop, he politely inquired with the florist about the meaning of the flowers he picked. Hopefully, Gulf wouldn’t tease him when he found out the meaning of the flowers are good luck, admiration, and first love.

**First love.** He almost rejected the lilac because of its meaning because Gulf wasn’t his first love, and he is sure he isn’t Gulf’s. But they matched with the other flowers, so he reluctantly agreed when the florist suggested it. But love? It was the thought that keeps on pestering him these past few days. He fell in love before. Even having a relationship for three years. But this was different from it. Bright isn’t sure if this is love, but the only thing he is sure of is that he’s willing to risk it all to confirm if he’s really falling in love with his friend.

_“Hm. You told me your mother and your team left you so here I am saving the damsel in distress. Or did you told them to leave you so I can pick you up, huh?”_ , it was always fun to tease Gulf because not only does his cheeks redden from embarrassment, but so does his cute tiny ears.

_“Y-Yah! I did not! You’re so full of yourself for thinking that I made them go home just to see you tonight.”_ , Gulf huffed, crossing his arms in front of him.

_“Hey, hey, I was kidding”,_ Bright knows he needs to coax a now pouting Gulf or else he will be like that for the rest of the car ride and it will be bad for Bright’s self-control, _“Don’t be sulky, Kana. I should be the one sulking because you still haven’t said anything about the flowers.”_

And there it is, Gulf’s newfound weakness, Bright’s soft voice, and ~~kissable~~ pouty lips.

_“Yaaaah! Don’t be sulky, I am the one sulking! And how dare you call me Kana, that’s like lowkey seducing me Bright, that’s totally unfair”_ , Bright heaved a sigh, then turned his back at Gulf, preparing to dramatically walk away from his friend, _“Bright? Bright you’re not leaving me, right? Vachirawit Chivaaree? P’Bright?”_

The last one totally worked. **It worked too well.**

_“I was just about to walk to the car because it is late, and my fur babies are surely waiting for me at home. I expected you to follow behind me.”_ , he was still not looking at Gulf because that guy is the kryptonite he doesn’t need tonight.

_“I love the flowers. You should have seen the way I smiled when I received them. The staffs keep teasing me because I looked like I won the lottery, but it did feel that way. And, oh, thank you for picking me up because I really wanted to see you tonight”_ , damn Gulf and his honesty, _“And P’Bright, from now on I want you to smile like that whenever you see me.”_

_"Like what?”,_ he shouldn’t have asked that because he experienced too many mini heart attacks now with how cute Gulf is, but he still did because of his damned curiosity.

_“Like you and I have a chance”_

Okay, there is another thing Bright is sure of.

**They definitely have a chance.**

-

Mild screamed for a minute or two, and First’s smile seemed like it was forever etched on his face. Somehow this felt like a deja vu because three years ago they also had lunch and talked about Bright at the same restaurant. The difference is, he was afraid and unsure before. But the Gulf in front of his friends now is brave and certain. It might seem fast for others, and he heard some people call it a whirlwind romance, but counting the years that they’ve known each other, Gulf would like to believe that their love slowly bloomed in time.

Mild disturbed his thoughts about Bright when he grabbed Gulf’s left hand to examine his engagement ring.

_“How did he propose, huh?”,_ Gulf couldn’t help but laugh when he remembered how Bright proposed to him.

-

Gulf doesn’t know if he wants to be here, in a dressing room of his presscon venue, prolonging the time that he would meet the reporters and fans. He couldn’t help but let his eyes traversed the room, anxiously waiting for the arrival of his lover. Gulf desperately needs to gaze at his enchanting black orbs, the one that holds so much warmth and adoration for the former. These past few days they have been battling a storm together, which they have avoided by mostly staying quiet in public and hiding in their home. But now, they need to finally stop the surging storm, even if Gulf is afraid of the outcome. However, before he could continue drowning himself on his pessimistic thoughts, a familiar voice saved him.

_“You’re hiding again”_ , Bright’s words screamed déjà vu, but he was too anxious to remember why it sounded familiar, _“And like before, I still found you."_

After sharing a passionate kiss, Gulf allowed Bright to pull him into a calming embrace. They have been together for almost two years already, and he always feels at home whenever he was with Bright. Every fear, every insecurity, and every pain disappear whenever they are together. And whenever they are apart, he would just think of Bright and his words of wisdom, and then everything will be fine.

It started as a witty nickname, but now Gulf beams in pride whenever he says that Bright is his beacon of hope.

_“You really wore the outfit I chose for you”_ , Bright’s dazzling smile and adorable little twirl were worth the hours of choosing the perfect outfit for his fashionista lover, _“And our matching watches too.”_

_"Of course, love. You chose it for me so I will proudly wear it.”,_ Bright stares at his watch in admiration, _“And you gave this to me the first time you told me you love me."_

Before he could tease Bright for being his cheesy self, their parents and team entered the room, which Gulf thought was them merely showing off their support for what they were about to do.

_“I brought you something to match your outfit”_ , Gulf looked at Bright in confusion when he was handed a black leather box, and it surely was not a watch because it seemed smaller than before, _“I told you before I could have brought you a ring, but I also told you I will be saving it up for our engagement.”_

_"Wait… Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”,_ but instead of an answer, Bright just knelt on the floor. 

_"Come on, open it up. I have a hard time thinking about what would suit you. And I hope you will love it.”_ , Gulf slowly open up the box, gasping out loud when he saw a gorgeous engagement ring, _“Kanawut Traipipattanapong, remember when I told you that there are different kinds of love? Well, I want you to know that what we have is the kind of love that I want to have for the rest of my life. So, Kana, love, the person I will love to have midnight dates with even we’re old and have grey hair, will you marry me?”_

Bright panicked for a bit when Gulf broke their gaze and instead looked at their parents and team, but he ended up laughing with Gulf and his silly antics.

_“I want to go out now and announce to the whole wide world that I’m going to be Kanawut Chivaaree and show off this ring to Bright’s admirers.”_

That day, Bright Vachirawit and Gulf Kanawut announced to the whole world that they weren’t boyfriends, but rather, **a newly engaged couple.**

After that day, the photo of Gulf pulling Bright into a intense lip-locked session while showing off his engagement ring was proudly displayed in their living room, and months after, placed next to the it was the wedding photo where Bright was the one pulling Gulf for their fifth "kiss the husband" kiss.

-

As a wise man once said, you will never have the same love twice. So, he wants everyone to see that this is the love that he will gladly keep for **eternity.**

-


	3. Throughout The Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now he can’t help but to wonder if in the past, did Gulf ever made him felt this way… breathless and breathing at the same time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be confused at the timeline, it's present-past alternatively. And yeah it's written in Bright's POV except the first few paragraphs. Enjoy reading 👋🏻

They were sitting comfortably on the couch, Gulf leaning closer to the man beside him, urged by the desire to revel in his warmth. The melodious voice of his was the only thing that can be heard in the studio, and Gulf couldn’t help but feel giddy with the privilege he’s getting, hearing Bright sing only for him. It was midnight, and they shouldn’t even be here, but he couldn’t be present earlier when the song was finally finished. Gulf wasn’t technically the first one to hear it, but it’s okay, because Bright is giving him the live performance. It was too reminiscent. Because a few years back, during an instantaneous road trip, Bright has also passionately sung for him. They were only dreaming that night, but now, they were both making their dreams come true. Unexpectedly, together, hand in hand.

And whoever said that the things unplanned and the things you don’t expect will be the best things that will ever happen to you, is one hundred percent correct.

_“Have I ever told you that meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me?”_ , Gulf softly said after Bright stopped singing, _“Maybe not, since I still have no idea back then that the skinny, foreign-looking, soccer teammate of mine will be holding me like this.”_

_“Like what?”,_ Bright asked, now prepared to feel shy at Gulf’s honest, yet endearing words.

Gulf buried his face on Bright’s shoulder as if he is an embarrassed kitten, but he could still hear the next words he said. _“Like you’re holding the person you love.”_

And Bright realized he wasn’t still prepared for the onslaught of emotions that came barging on his heart.

Now he can’t help but to wonder if in the past, did Gulf ever made him feel this way… **breathless and breathing at the same time?**

-

Their soccer practice ended that day, so there was no reason for Bright and Gulf to spend another midnight together. He could go home now, do his assignments, or take a rest. It is not a requirement for him to be with Gulf. But for some reason, he wants to. So here they are, lounging at the convenience store after Bright bribed him with free food. Somehow, Gulf has convinced his Mae Nuch not to pick him up that day, or maybe because his mother is certain that Bright will take care of her only son. Whatever the reason is, Bright is just overjoyed that Gulf is here with him, and he himself doesn’t know why.

Being in the presence of Gulf is calming — as if he’s in a beach, listening to the harmonious sound of the waves.

_“Where do you see us ten years from now, Bright?”_ , leave it to his friend to ask an existential question at the exact moment where Bright is already drowning in his thoughts that may or may not be about Gulf.

Even if Bright can already envision his future, all he wanted at that moment was to be beside Gulf, silently enjoying the snack they’re devouring. He doesn’t want to think of the next ten years. He doesn’t want to wonder if Gulf will still be in his life, or he will lose his friend somehow along the way. He doesn’t want to know why the idea of not having Gulf seems so terrifying. Bright knows that it is perfectly normal to lose someone, but he intends to keep the friendship they have for eternity. He believes that even the most impossible things can be possible.

_“Wherever you are, I will probably be just beside you”_ , Bright’s breathing hitched at the words he didn’t meant to say out loud, but Gulf softly laughing at his statement and the way his eyes sparkle in joy made Bright stop himself from saying it was a joke.

_“I expect you to still be by my side ten years from now, hm?”_ , the future may be unpredictable, but Bright will do anything to make sure that his place beside Gulf will be permanent.

The smile he received after he said yes took his breath away and alleviated the fear of losing Gulf.

Also, now he knows why he had this fear.

**Gulf is his sanctuary.**

-

There were so many places to call home— their family house, his condominium, and even his company building. But here, in Gulf’s warm embrace, he knows he finally found his home. Maybe he should be afraid of admitting that because Gulf wasn’t his, and even if he’s certain that there was a chance, it might end up being just another heartache. However, the way Gulf holds him is enough to erase all the doubts, insecurities, and fears. Gulf was here with him. He chose to be with Bright. And how can Bright not fall for that?

_“I am definitely falling for you”_ , leave it to Gulf to say the right words that can give Bright the assurance he needs, _“Thank you for injuring me that day.”_

_“Why are you thanking me for injuring you?”,_ Bright mumbled in confusion.

_“Because our friendship started that day, remember?”,_ Gulf’s words triggered Bright to remember one of his favorite memory of theirs.

_“You definitely fell for me that day”,_ Bright teased Gulf, who in return pushed him away hard.

He was about to act like he was sulking, but instead, Bright caught his breath, surprised by his friend’s reddened cheeks and pouty lips. He almost thought that this is it, his sweet end, but the rhythmic beating of his heart caused by of course, Gulf, is enough proof that he is still alive.

Bright cannot help but to anticipate the next ten years— **barely living, but very much happy with Gulf.**

-

During a supposedly playful game of soccer, things turned heated between Bright and Gulf, since one of them only needed to score one more goal in order to be declared the winner. They chose to disregard the rules because they were too drunk in their competitiveness, resulting to Gulf being injured because Bright pushed him too hard causing him to fall. Still, he managed to score the goal and Bright felt guilty for hurting his teammate, so he decided to treat Gulf at the nearest convenience store as both an apology and congratulations for his fair win.

Bright tried to assist him in walking because of his injured leg, but Gulf was being his whiny self, so he just picked up Gulf bridal style so that they can arrive faster at the convenience store. Weird looks were being thrown at them their entire walk, and Gulf was transforming into some kind of tomato, but Bright ignored all of it because his focus is already on eating a delicious meal. Also, they were teammates, and for Bright there’s nothing wrong in helping an injured teammate.

Gulf grunted once he was seated on the bench, _“You shouldn’t have done that. I can walk on my own.”_

_“It’s okay, it’s nothing”,_ Bright said, shrugging nonchalantly, _“Just eat your sandwich Nong Gulf”._

_“I am not your Nong!”,_ with how bratty Gulf can be at times, he is definitely the Nong between them, but Bright decided not to reply him.

Instead, they settled in a comfortable silence for a while as they eat their sandwiches. Besides, there isn’t anything to talk about. They weren’t friends. They met a few months back during the soccer tryouts, and if they had a chance to speak with each other, they mostly just bickered about their favorite soccer teams. Bright was just being nice by treating Gulf, but he isn’t here to befriend the latter. All he knows about Gulf was that he’s a good player, and he likes to keep to himself. He just couldn’t think of any conversational topics, and the guy beside him munching on his sandwich like he’s a hungry squirrel seems like he would prefer to talk to the air than to Bright.

It was peaceful until Gulf decided to ask him something only close friends should asked each other. _“What do you want to be in the future, Bright?”_

He shouldn’t answer, because why would Gulf Kanawut care about his dreams?

But the sparkling doe eyes that are now staring back at him just impelled him to answer. _“Well, I’m not sure actually. I have a passion for music. I could play musical instruments like guitar and drums. Hopefully, I could sing. Hm, maybe I just want the world to know that I exist, that I’m Vachirawit Chivaree. Actually, that doesn’t make sense, so just forget what I said…”_

When Bright stopped talking, he realized he shared too much, and he expected to see Gulf not listening to him anymore. But the aforementioned guy was staring at him as if what he said matters. As if Bright and his dream matters. No one can blame him when he forgot how to breathe properly because Gulf Kanawut just beamed at him, and it might sound silly, but that smile was brighter than the stars in the night sky.

_“You exist in my world, Vachirawit Chivaaree”,_ Bright never felt that he was important to anybody, but that night, Gulf made him feel like he deserves to float amongst the clusters of stars.

**Perhaps, Bright can be in the same sky where Gulf is.**

-

Continuing with their midnight date, as per tradition, the two are now dining in their favorite convenience store. They could have gone to a fancy restaurant earlier, or Bright could have tried to cook a hearty meal for them, but nothing can ever compare to their special place. Also, his friend wanted to be here because he claims that the sandwich here is the best, and wherever Gulf wants to be, Bright will be beside him. They were just fortunate that the store is still operating. Maybe Bright should buy the store to ensure that it will not close, but then that will be too much of a gift for Gulf. The latter would surely hit him with a soccer ball, one he did before when Bright gifted him a watch.

A camera shutter broke his reverie, and the first thing he noticed was Gulf’s dazzling smile, which he learned was one of the things that can cause him to be vulnerable.

_“I can be a good photographer, maybe better than you, B.”,_ Gulf chuckled at his own statement which earned him a toothy grin from Bright, _“It came out so good that I want to post this, but sadly, I can’t.”_

In the eyes of the world, Bright and Gulf are friends and nothing more, so there is no problem in posting the photo. Maybe they can remain silent if they were asked about it or say that they are friends that are merely hanging out. But Gulf became someone who is now hesitant to share anything to the world, already used to hiding in the dark. Bright wanted to change that. He wanted Gulf to know that it is okay to be himself and to share whatever he wants, even if others wouldn’t like it. He wants Gulf to know that he shouldn’t care about those people who knows nothing but to throw hate, and only focus on the things that will make him happy. Bright wants to tell him that he should do nothing but shine the brightest, which Gulf was always meant to do.

_“I’m so proud of you, G. That’s really a great photo. You should post it.”,_ Gulf frowned at what he said, but his eyes speak the eagerness to share it to the world, _“It’s alright, Kana. Remember, whatever happens, I’m here.”_

They’re both aware that posting this photo means that they are sharing to everyone the Bright and Gulf that are not friends, but two people who are in the stage of falling in love with one another. Maybe not everyone will perceive it in just one photo, but those who loves Bright and Gulf will. And Bright knows he is selfish for wanting them to know that he is close to having Kanawut Traipipattanapong’s heart, so he decided to let Gulf decide what he wants to do instead.

_“Check my new Instagram post and read me the caption, hm?”_

Once again, he was breathless, but very much alive.

The caption reads, ** _‘You have always been the reason for every smile, every laugh, and every courage’._ **

-

The tears streaming down Gulf’s face was about to drown Bright in sorrow. Bright never saw his friend cry, so he has no idea on how to comfort Gulf. Also, unlike Gulf, he hasn’t experience heartache yet. All he could offer his heavy-hearted friend was the cup noodles and his extra t-shirt that Gulf is now using as an alternative for a handkerchief after the employee refuse to waste their precious tissues on them. Honestly, Bright never thought Gulf could be this vulnerable when it comes to love, since his friend was not the kind of person to show too many emotions. But that is one of Gulf’s charm he couldn’t help but admire— how he loves deeply and sincerely.

_“I thought she was the one, Bright”,_ he shouldn’t disagree with a heartbroken guy, but Bright couldn’t help but question Gulf’s statement, because how can you know someone is “the one”? Especially someone you’ve only dated for a few months. He can’t imagine what state Gulf will be in once he falls in love again to someone he will call “the one”, then get his heart broken again. Will he also cry like this?

Suddenly, Bright remembered what his grandmother told him during that time she was happily talking about her true love, his grandfather.

_“Maybe… Maybe she is not the one, Gulf”,_ Gulf glared at him, _“My grandmother was in love with someone else before she met my grandfather. That guy was her first love, and she thought he was the last, but she met my grandfather. He is her greatest love.”_

Gulf was about to speak up, maybe disagree with Bright and wallow more in his sadness, but Bright just continued with what he wanted to say.

_“There are many kinds of love, but never the same love twice. You’ll love again Gulf, and it’ll be different from this one. Don’t lose hope.”_

Gulf was silent for a moment, and Bright was worried that he caused more pain for his friend because of what he said. But then Gulf’s laughter confused him.

_“You always know the right words to say, Bright”,_ Gulf said after he stopped laughing, _“Thank you.”_

_“For what? You should thank my grandmother instead, she’s the one who told me that”,_ as far as Bright knows, he didn’t do anything worth of any gratitude, so he can’t help but to wonder why Gulf is thanking him.

He shouldn’t have asked though, because the words Gulf said might be the cause of his death.

**_“For being in my life, especially in times that I need you the most”._ **

-

Reminiscing has led Bright to question whether if he already loves his friend years before. Whenever he was so close to finding out the truth, he would just choose to forget it, and focus on what he could have with Gulf that day. But somehow, deep inside him, Bright knows that Gulf has been the reason for all the times that he was breathless and breathing at the same time. Maybe he never fully acknowledged what they have, not only because he doesn’t have the courage to risk the friendship, but also because he only associated love with erratic heartbeats, butterflies in the stomach, and the giddiness you feel whenever you are with someone you love.

And he never felt that way with Gulf.

Bright has associated Gulf with the calm waves of the ocean, the euphonious chirping of the birds, and the serenity one feels whenever they gaze at the night sky.

How could he forget what he said to Gulf the first time he got his heart broken?

There are different kinds of love, and the love he has for Gulf is the kind of love that was there all along, hidden in disbelief, apprehensions, and uncertainties.

_“Kana, during the course of our friendship, haven’t you once felt the love I have for you?”,_ Gulf stared at him with confusion and curiosity dancing in his honey-like brown orbs, _“Because it appears that I have been in love with you for years already.”_

_“Will you wait for me, Bright?”,_ the aforementioned man muttered a yes causing Gulf to smile radiantly, _“I will make it up to you by loving you for all the years to come, then.”_

For all the years they could have been together, Bright knows this is finally the right time.

And even though there is no certainty that Gulf may be the one for him, he will do everything to ensure that the kind of love they will have will be the one that will be his last.

Why you ask?

Well, it is because the love he has for Gulf has stood the test of time.

It is the love that has been growing for years and will still continue to grow for the upcoming years they’ll be sharing together.

_**Vachirawit Chivaaree was always fated to love Kanawut Traipipattanapong.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is not that great, but I hope you still love it 🥺💛

**Author's Note:**

> I planned for Bright and Gulf to be officially together at the end but I felt like Gulf needed to move on first and I like the feeling of hope that the ending gave. But, I hope you enjoyed reading 💛


End file.
